perks of dating me:
- you can still go out with the bros and i won’t get mad bc i really wouldn’t want to be around me all the time either so i smell what you’re stepping in on that one
- i like sports
- i will cook you food*
- my hair is soft
- i know how to check the oil in my car
*food may or may not be limited to macaroni and cheese and pop-tarts
(via braydenschennsational)
I’d just like to point out that 50 Shades of Grey was Twilight fanfic and Twilight was inspired by Muse so when you think about it, it’s kinda because of Muse that 50 Shades was written in the first place oh
And Muse came from England which traces its roots back to the Anglo-Saxons and Romans, so really, in the end, Julius Caesar wrote 50 Shades of Grey.
someone should totally just stab caesar
wait
what
(via iamthefreshestprince)
the entire school was burning down and i had to pull the fire alarm. i sprinted over to it. there was writing on it in permanent ink. it said: if you pull this down you are gay. no way was i pulling the fire alarm anymore
(via iamthefreshestprince)
i never really liked
my name
much
until i found out
what it tastes like
when you sigh it
into my
mouth
(Source: oceanicforest, via iamthefreshestprince)
I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH
WITH MY OWn mouth
softly
because i like you
(via h0m3-s1ck)
How to break up with someone
im crying because did disney miss the part where she DIDNT WANT TO DRESS UP FOR THE CEREMONY IN THE MOVIE? NO? OK WERE GONNA IGNORE THAT.
(Source: sandandglass, via iamthefreshestprince)
